"WHERE'S THE BLOG, WHERE'S THE BLOG, WHERE'S THE BLOG????"

WEIGH-IN WEDNESDAY

A DAY LATE!, but OMG I can't believe the fuss this has caused - the abusive emails I've
received! From Christopher Monger (the Evil One): "WHERE'S THE BLOG, WHERE'S THE BLOG, WHERE'S THE BLOG??" From Emily: "Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, but you can still tell us
your weight loss, mine's 3lbs this week!" From Jenny: "My Comment shall be a day or
two late as well, in protest!" From Maisie: "This is an outrage, I guess this is payback
for my late comment!" First of all CONGRATULATIONS to Emily for her Weight Loss this
week - which is much better than mine - way to go girl! But for the rest of you - A DAY LATE
AND I GET THIS SORT OF ABUSE??? My Blogs are well formulated, thought provoking,
current, interesting, informative, amusing, life-enhancing, family orientated, and well structured.
They need time to be written and thought about - they are not just thrown together any old how.
I now have a merry band of loyal Blog followers - some whom, from time to time, leave encouraging
Comments - for those of you who do that - I am eternally grateful. For those of you who have been
impatient and a soupçon picky with me - Get a grip and Get over your selves! Now to the business
in hand - my weight loss this week - well, there is none - no loss - no gain - just the same old - same
old. For which I have no excuses and no apologies. Plateau Gateaux. Shit happens!

LETTER FROM BOTSWANA

By Travers & Jenny McNeice

After spending three glorious weeks in Europe, Jenny, Angus and I jetted of to Botswana for a two week safari. The last time I had been back was about three years ago but for Angus it was his first trip back in almost ten years. 

Angus McNeice

We arrived in Maun where we spent 3 days at the Okavago River Lodge. This is a place where we spent many a day as kids, playing by the river, riding donkeys, and swimming in the tiny swimming pool - and later partying with friends once we were of legal age, of course. Over the three days, four dear friends and two new friends, all Americans, arrived to join our trip from the US. After picking up the safari car, food, booze (more than any sane person would have brought, but we did have Angus...), camping equipment, our group of nine headed off into the Okavago Delta for a four night self-guided safari. We had a blast! 

The Party of Friends

We saw more game than I can ever remember seeing. Highlights include seeing lions twice, cheetah with her two cubs hunting, also twice! a leopard, Jenny's first sighting!

 hyena at sunrise, hyena at our tents, giant herds of giraffe (actually called a tower of giraffes), baby elephant, elephant swimming, antelope, hundreds of rare birds, hippos (in camp, and at the river lodge), crocodile, honeybadgers (had to throw rocks at them to get them to leave us alone) a porcupine that barked at us while on a walking safari! warthog, ostrich and wildebeest, and so many more.

On our last night of car camping we had a hyena come right into camp while we were cleaning up from dinner. In the dark, we'd spot his eyes in the torchlight getting closer and closer. Gus and I kept chasing him away but he just kept on coming back. The situation was a little hairy, especially when one particularly wide set of eyes turned out to be a hippo walking straight towards us, but it got a lot worse when the hyena we thought we'd chased away for good came back with five friends! So now we were surrounded by very hungry looking predators. We decided to just get an early night and Gus and I had fun setting up a barricade of camp chairs around our tents - so we could hear them coming at least.

We headed back to Maun on a total high - a high not deflated even when a couple from Chicago, two friends of our good good friends who'd gamely met up with us for one week of this adventure, announced they just couldn't take any more. She stood at the table, fingers blazing, wine sloshing, in the midst of my story about being an atheist in a Catholic church once, to decry our hedonism and godlessness which unbeknownst to us was extremely offensive to her and her husband's devout Catholic beliefs, and disrespectful to Jesus Christ. Given the sudden ridiculousness of it all, we decided it was simply entertaining. Jenny refers to that night now as the Real Housewives of Safari incident, and it provided great fodder for the rest of the trip after they left the next day.

I think this maybe the Religious Couple from Chicago

(Apologies if I'm wrong!!)

So we spent two more nights at River Lodge, saw more friends from the old days in Maun, and then mixed things up. Four of the Americans, heathen and pious alike, returned to Chicago, and the remaining five of us went on a boat safari for four days and three nights. We loaded up the boat with some food, a lot of booze, and headed into the heart of the Okavango driven by the greatest African guide on the river called Captain. Of all the names to have, it just doesn't get more perfect than that and literally every person we passed on the river  would call out, "Captain, eeeey!" Captain had about four teeth, the most infectious laugh, and some amazing stories he'd tell by
the firelight.

"Captain"

We spent four days on the water, got the closest I have ever been to elephant, saw another leopard(!), went on sunrise game walks, witnessed the most breathtaking sunsets, and cooked over camp fires every night, sometimes with elephants for company not too far away.

It was the most incredible two-week trip, one that we will all remember. The only thing truly missing was not having all the family together to enjoy being back "home."

They even saw my favourite African Animals - Warthogs!

Thank you Travers & Jenny - What a truly amazing trip and wonderful photographs!

MY FITBIT WEEK

UNDER MILK WOOD

(A Reading for Radio in Los Angeles)

My dear friend, the Welsh Film Director and Screenwriter, Christopher Monger, was "dragged kicking and screaming" into a rehearsed reading of UNDER MILK WOOD for Radio - which was performed over a number of evenings in front of a live audience where he gave his:

"Draper, mad with love...."

Christopher Monger - "The Draper, Mad With Love"

"UNDER MILK WOOD"

Here is a report of his final performance:

"We closed yesterday to a standing ovation - led by Rob Bryden who was in the audience. 

John Francis who had come from Wales for the show arrived with a cold which most of us had managed to catch by last night. I woke with strep throat yesterday and every word hurt and came out like a strangled parrot through a Clint Eastwood filter. One of my characters, the little boy Johnny Christo, went from a soprano to gruff bass within a line. Brought the house down, and all my fellow actors, albeit for all the wrong reasons. But hey, I'll take a laugh anyway I can get it. 

But it was enormous fun to be with John Francis, Matthew Rhys, Sara Sugarman, Kate Burton, her son Ritchie, and Jason Hughes (did you ever see him on Midsomer Murders? Lovely guy) and a wonderful singer, Laura Evans  to name the funniest ones. 

We had a week of great hilarity in the streets of Llareggub. 

I'll let you know when there's a link to the radio show but if they use the recording from last night you will NEVER recognize me. 

I have been in bed all day, unable to speak but it was worth it"

Just like a proper Luvvie-Thespian, taking to his day bed after his final performance, 

because "It's all been too much, Darling!" I must say having been directed by Chris

several times I would have dearly loved to have seen his performance and yelled abuse at it!


VOICE TEST FOR AUDI CAR COMMERCIAL

THE NEW AUDI 7 SPORTBACK

Over the last two weeks I've done a couple of Voice Tests for an advert for the new

Audi 7 Sportback.  These took place in a recording studio called Grand Central

in Great Marlborough Street.

The Filmed Advert was the Audi 7 Sportback travelling through a dark warehouse with overhead

lighting through the shadows. There is an old fashioned record player with one of those 

horn speakers on a table playing a record. 

The Audi 7 Sportback reverses towards the table. The car stops at the table. The Sportback pops open and lifts the table whilst the record player slides to the floor where it breaks into little pieces. Here is the script which they asked me to read over and over again:

"Presence, some people have it, some people don't. It's about demeanour. Gravitas.

Appearance is everything. Red tie always helps.

Make an impression. Speak with volume. From the diaphragm.

Flex your influencing muscles. An unyielding handshake never fails.

Use strong gestures. You're a power player. Incubate others in doubt.

You are never star struck because you are the star.

Pause when necessary. Pause when unnecessary.

Your conviction has no horizon. Let them hang on your every word."

Over the two sessions each lasting an hour I must have read this script over 50 times in various

ways: "Faster, slower, louder, softer, pompous, suave, machine-like, intelligent, draw them

in, draw them to you, teach them, engage them, you're bored now, etc, etc, ...Oh....can you try an American Accent??"" To which I replied after I went deep southern "I didn't think Kevin Spacey was

available!" Thankfully they all thought the voice needed to have an English Accent. 

Tig, my Voice-Over Agent had told me that if they used my voice in the Audi commercial they

would probably pay a large amount of cash as a buy-out so it would be really worth my while.

So finally, on my way out, I cheekily asked where they were with everything. They told me

they were going to show the Client the commercial with the Voice Overs in about a week.

And then the Client would choose which voice they liked the best. "Which voice?" I asked.

Then it dawned on me!! There were THREE OF US trying out for the Advert and as I walked 

along the road back to the tube I bumped into an old actor friend of mine called Nick Farrell.

Nick Farrell

We had worked together years ago in a played called "Kean" which had run at The OLD

VIC THEATRE with Sir Derek Jacobi. "You're not going off to do a Voice Over are you?"

I asked Nick "Yes" he replied "for an Audi car advert!" All I could think about as I walked off

was how much better his voice would sound in the commercial.

WATCH THIS SPACE!!

NOT ANOTHER CONVENTION!

AT THE DOME-LAKESIDE-BAWTRY ROAD-DONCASTER

I would like to show you my view from my bedroom of the Grand St Leger Hotel

Lovely, isn't it? Apparently they were Jockey's Stables once, that were 

being knocked down because they were full of asbestos! And the Jockeys 

sometimes slept in them to be near their horses. Doncaster Racecourse 

was only a stones throw from the hotel.

Here are some of the better Costumes at the Convention.

Nice way to spend the Week-end don't you think?

PALEWELL COMMON PITCH & PUTT

East Sheen SW14 8RE

Yesterday, Wednesday the 24th September, I had a wonderful time playing a couple of rounds of Pitch & Put with my Son, Angus - before he leaves these shores again to take up residence in Uruguay for a while with his girlfriend Lizzie. They are both going to help run a 

Back-Packers Hostel on the beach in their summer/our winter

Nice Golf Trolley eh? Just bought it on Amazon for £25! It came in a very heavy box - which

seemed a bit strange. It wasn't until I opened the box and found not just my Trolley, but 2 others as well. Gussie said - at least he knows now what he's getting for Christmas!

This course is really adorable with very well kept greens. I won the first nine holes.

We then had lunch in the near by cafe and then played another nine holes which

Angus won!

The Cafe nearby - that does All Day Breakfasts

A USEFUL RECIPE FROM EMILY

I've started making my own coleslaw and having it with everything - grilled fish, baked sweet potatoes, on toast. Grate carrot, apple, raw beetroot and finely slice Savoy cabbage. Mix a table spoon of horseradish sauce into low fat creme fraiche and stir in as a dressing. I also add some toasted seeds. It's delicious, healthy and filling. It keeps in a Tupperware in the fridge for ages. Xxx

Thank You Emily!

YOUR COMMENTS

"Oh But My Darling, You Must Have The Money!"

WEIGH-IN WEDNESDAY

Well, good news to report this week, hurrah! A loss of 2lbs which  shatters

the plateau-gateau and brings me back to my "Emily's Wedding Goal Weight" of 70lbs

loss (of 5 Stone) A further 5lbs loss and I'm going to need another Certificate,

so start designing soon! What a relief!!

LORD RICHARD ATTENBOROUGH

1923-2014

In 1987 I was living in the Cotswolds and on returning from the School Run 

on a dark, damp winter afternoon,  I was greeted with the news,  that later that week

I was going to be somewhere very hot. My Agent had called to tell me that I had

been offered a small role in Richard Attenborough's Film: 

"CRY FREEDOM"

This was the story of a South African journalist Donald Woods,  played by Kevin Kline, who is forced to flee the country after attempting to investigate the death in custody of his friend the activist Steve Biko, played by Denzel Washington. I had been offered the role by Susie Figgis,

the Casting Director. She had been entrusted by Attenborough to cast all the smaller roles without

him either meeting or knowing the actors involved. It was up to her to cast these small parts with

actors she believed in. The part I was offered was a South African

Policeman with a couple of lines. This was always one of my biggest fears. As a child I'd had a 

stammer - but I always wanted to be an actor (!!) a slightly tricky profession if you have a stammer.

At Drama School I had found that even though I stammered at the start of rehearsals of a play, as

time went by,  I gained more confidence and as I learnt my lines the stammer disappeared. It also

helped if the part was a big one - I could get lost with in the role. With just a couple of lines,

there was no where to hide - the spotlight would be well and truly on me! The other problem

-  I wouldn't know the lines until I landed in South Africa. Then I would know if I could say

them easily or whether I would have a problem. 

After a long flight and a short one I landed in Gweru,

Zimbabwe and as I made my way to my Bungalow in the Lodge where I was staying,  I flicked

through the Script to find my dialogue. "Oh Fuck! Oh No!!" There, staring up at me from the

page was the word "Terrorist" and I knew I was in deep shit. As I paced up and down my

bedroom I uttered the word "Terrorist!"  - "There we go!" - I thought to myself "No problem there,

I can say it easily." and I could - in the bedroom!! I knew it would be a different story on the Set

in front of  the Crew and Dickie Attenborough himself. All I could hear myself saying was 

"T-T-T-Terrorist!!" Yes, Oh Yes! I knew I was in deep shit. There was only one thing for it. I had 

travelled over from England with another actor - a rather arrogant, cocky fellow who I knew would

be delighted with my proposal. He was to play the other South African Policeman and between us we

both had a couple of lines each as we bundled Kevin Kline into the waiting Police Range Rover. 

Surely he would be delighted to have all the dialogue, mine and his, and "Yes!" was his answer. Job 

done I thought to myself - but no, there was a bigger battle to be fought - I had to tell Dickie Attenborough as well - and where was he - only working 24 hours a day 

directing a multi-million-dollar-movie with thousands of extras:

The day came, or rather the night came for me to work,  as it was going to be a night-shoot and 

we were going to be taken to a Town-Ship where the scene would take place. I was now in my

South African Police Uniform and very scared. Where oh where was Dickie? And then I saw him,

rather like the photo above, but this time with a megaphone in his hand standing on top of a mound 

surveying the Town-ship beneath. Above him was a Police Helicopter with a spotlight glaring down and below him were hundreds of extras massing together waiting for his commands. As I trudged up the hill with my heart beating fast I tried to work

out what I was going to say. Eventually I was in front of the great man and what I actually said is

a garbled faded memory but it went something like this; "D-D-D-D-Dickie! (as we'd been told to

address him that way) you don't obviously know me, but I'm really quite a good actor, but I just

can't say your lines, but the other actor said he would say them for me. And as for my Fee, please

keep it...." There was a pause as he stared at me in a glazed disbelief and then he said:

"Oh, but my Darling, you must have the money!" Later that night when we came to do the scene,

I watched on as the other actor said all four lines perfectly and when it came for me to drive

the Range-Rover into the scene they asked me for my Policeman's Jacket as the Car had to hit 

a certain mark and they wanted a Stunt Man to drive it instead of me!! To this day I have a

credit in the cast list of that movie AND I WAS NEVER IN IT!!!! Years later I met Darling Dickie

again when I went up for a Role in his film of "SHADOWLANDS" with Anthony Hopkins and

Debra Winger. During the interview I reminded him of our first meeting up on that mound in

Gweru - the same glazed, disbelief came across his face as it was quite plain to see he had 

no recognition of me what so ever. God Bless Dickie - he was responsible for my first journey to

Africa - a journey that I have repeated several times since.

MY SON: ANGUS STOKESAY McNEICE

My intrepid traveller Son, Angus, whose hand is never far from clutching "A Cold One"

(Please note "The Hand Action" in the above photograph) is with us in England for a short

 while before he joins his Paraguayan Girlfriend, Lizzie, helping to run a Back-Packer's Hostel on a beach in sunny Uruguay for a bit of R & R - nice one Son! He came over the other night to

tell us about the adventure he has just had with his brother, Travers, taking a group of Traver's

friends on a Camping Safari around the area they were brought up in Botswana.

"THE BOTSWANA BABES"

What a fantastic trip it sounded - I've asked Travers & Jenny if they will write a 

LETTER FROM BOTSWANA about taking there friends on this trip. This will be

included in the Blog at some stage - a must - I think!  After a few drinks at our 

local Wine Bar - The Weir:

we decamped back to the Flat where later in the evening, Gussie happily worked

his way through a bottle of Jameson Irish Whisky. He very kindly left this

minuscule measure for the next person - thanks Gussie!!

If you squint your eyes you can just see the tiny amount at the bottom of the bottle!

The Next day we all set out for Gunnersbury Pitch & Putt for a round of Nine Holes. Having

thoroughly enjoyed the Pitch & Putt course that we all played on in Littlehampton we were

determined to find a local course near Brentford.

The best news is that I get 50p off for being a OAP!

The Course

It really is a lot of fun. I used to play golf with my Dad and I still have my swing, 

although it's rusty as hell. But I can still hit a few good shots. And of course its

excellent for walking distances. So all ways round it's a winner on that long journey

in Losing Weight. I remember buying some golf clubs the last time I lost weight and

had fun on a Driving Range near Chiswick Bridge with Daisy Dickson!

ANOTHER CONVENTION

This time for BIG FINISH. They are the people that make all the Audio Books of DOCTOR WHO.

I have worked for them twice - the first time I recorded a show for them at a Studio in London. The

second time I worked for them I had to travel a couple of hours outside of London into deepest Kent

to a tiny Studio in the middle of nowhere. It wasn't until I got there that I found out why we were there. Coming through the door clutching a mug of coffee and still wearing his Pyjamas was 

TOM BAKER (the FOURTH DOCTOR WHO) who only lived a couple of minutes down the

road and agreed to do the job if they used his local studio - no fool there!!

Tom Baker - The Fourth Doctor Who.

When I was at the Convention I bumped into an Actor I've known and admired for

many years. Most people think there are TWO of this person because he crops up

in so many places all over Europe. Looking on IMDB.com

(International Movie Data Base) it's hard to believe that he has 307 Credits for

Supporting Roles in Movies & Television that date back from 1963. I'm going to use a word that was used in a review of mine once and that's the only reason I know what it means!

The Ubiquitous Vernon Dobtcheff

Vernon lives in London and Paris. Speaks three languages fluently - makes films speaking

perfect French & Italian. He's had an Apartment in Paris for 30 years and has 

a walk-up of 88 steps!! He says he keeps sane by quoting Shakespeare as he goes up the

stairs. The following day he was off to Rome to do some dubbing for a film he's just made

and then onto Toronto to see friends in a Shakespeare Play. He must be so well travelled

by now. I remember when I did theatre on a regular basis I would always receive a First Night

Card from him - I bet he's still doing that for all his friends.

COMMENTS

Please leave any comments you would like - Many thanks!